


just a what if and how about

by chaemoongie



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M, Maybe - Freeform, changkyun is here again, kiho if you look closely, kill hyungwon, sad min
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 09:58:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18313301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaemoongie/pseuds/chaemoongie
Summary: hyungwon is an asshole, minhyuk is sad, changkyun is done, kihyun is an accessory and wonho is inlove





	just a what if and how about

**Author's Note:**

> my lame attemp of a sad min fic.

i. minhyuk watches as kihyun and hyungwon enjoys taking each others photo's. they use each others phone to capture pictures as many as they can, and all minhyuk can do is sigh and tear his gaze away from them.

minhyuk has been pinning for hyungwon for about _6_ years, and the latter is oblivious about it because his eyes are set only at one person. and it's not minhyuk, but rather yoo kihyun. their friend, their band mate. he wants to tell hyungwon how he feels, but he's scared. scared of rejection, scared of denial. scared their friendship might be affected. scared their career might be affected.

they've been there, they didnt talked for months, almost a year even. because minhyuk went over board teasing kihyun something about his face and his height, hyungwon didn't liked it so he shouted at minhyuk. to stop teasing, to stop playing around, to stop talking too much, to stop bugging everyone. to start being productive, and serious and practice more so that he wont make mistakes on their choreo or their song,so that his voice wont crack. and minhyuk is hurt. hyungwon didn't have to rub on his face that he's not the most useful member of their group, but minhyuk chose to not fire back and just walk out. 

minhyuk wanted to hate hyungwon. hyungwon--of all people--knows how much insecurities he holds on his self. hyungwon saw him being devastated because of being cut out, being kicked out, being told he don't have enough talent to make it to the cut, but he chose to say those things to minhyuk. and minhyuk really wanted to hate him, punch him, kick his guts, cry, scream but then again, he chose not to. because who is he? he's just a useless member, who often forgets their steps, who can't have that much of lines because his voice can't fit the songs. he's just a member because of his face. he's just that member because knows how to handle variety works. he's just that hopeless member who loves his bandmate who's obviously inlove with someone else.

"you're staring too much hyung"

"Aahhh! kkung!"

"what?"

"you scared the hell out of me!"

"not my bad,hyung. you're staring at them, again"

minhyuk sighs. what can he do? all he can do is watch hyungwon and kihyun smile and laugh at each other, play with each other, enjoy each others company. stare at hyungwon's smile he'll never recieve. sure hyungwon smiles at him, but not like how he smiles at kihyun. those sparkly eyes wouldn't shine because of him.never.

 

ii. it's finally their second tour stop. their rooms have been designated and as usual, minhyuk is paired to room with kihyun. he's been drained for weeks. non-stop practices and rehersals, dress fittings, interviews, filmings for their fans who cant attend the concert, travels. minhyuk feels so tired he just wants to go to his room, dive into his bed and sleep until its time to rehearse again. so he pulls his luggage after recieving the keys and walks to the nearest elevator he sees, enters and presses his floor. kihyun and wonho decided to roam around the the place first since they have about 11 hours break before their rehearsal. the elevator's about to close but theres a hand stopping it, and if minhyuk's heart stops beating, he pays no mind.

hyungwon smiles at him before entering,pressing the button below minhyuk's and leans on the railing. he seems to think about something, like internally fighting himself and analyzing some of his life decisions. minhyuk shifts his gaze somewhere when he feels heat crept up his face, they're just casually riding an elevator but he's already palpitating. he's like a teenager having his crush with him. but what's the difference? only the age, but aside from that, none.

"hey, minhyuk" minhyuk flinches at the sudden call of his name. he feels his heart pump faster than necessary and his cheeks becoming more hot. he hums but didn't looked at hyungwon's direction

"can we trade rooms? i wanna room with kihyun" minhyuk purses his lips. he suddenly wants to cry and floor hyungwon down, but he just nods and says nothing.

it's okay, it's just a room. it's just an idea where hyungwon wants to room with kihyun. it's just hyungwon rooming with kihyun. it's okay

"are you sure?it's fine with you?"

"y-yeah, i-ill just room with...changkyun"

"changkyun again? he's already your roommate in our dorm, isn't he fed up with you?"

minhyuk takes a deep breath. strike one, hyungwon. good job

  
"i don't think so, we're comfortable with each other"

"he's a light sleeper, you play games all night right? wouldn't you disturb him?"

minhyuk clenches his fist. strike two hyungwon, way to go.

  
"i'm not planning on playing games tonight as im too tired. we'll just talk and go to sleeep"

"he's not fond in talkings and you have too mny stories to tell, wouldnt he get annoyed?"

 

great hyungwon! strike three, job well done.

 

minhyuk turns on his heels and slaps hyungwon, his tears are now freely cascading down his face. "you know what? fuck you! room with kihyun forever!" minhyuk shouts, throws the keys on hyungwon before dragging his self out of the elevator even though its not yet changkyun's nor his floor. he sees the fire exit and goes straight there, walking down going to the front desk.

after a tiresome trip going down, he asks the front desk to look over his stuffs for awhile and he strides again. "hyung"

"Aahhh! what the hell, kkung!"

"where are you going? you're tired"

perhaps, changkyun is right. he's tired, drained even. but he won't be able to sleep, hyungwon's words keeps on replaying inside his head and he wants to go crazy. why can't he hate hyungwon?

"I'll just grab some drinks, go rest kkung"

"alright" 

changkyun nods and minhyuk walks again, searching for a bar near the hotel. but to his dismay, he can't spot any, so he just goes at the near convinient store, grabs the first liquor his eyes lands and pays for it.

"you're drinking all of that, hyung?"

"Aahhhh! goddammit changkyun! why you keep on showing up unannounced?! you're scaring the shit out me!"

"not my bad, you're spacing out. and don't snap at me"

minhyuk sighs, changkyun's right. he shouldn't snap at him, or at anyone. if there's someone he should hate, it's himself.

"sorry. i was just perplexed, i thought you're at your room"

"i didn't say okay"

"you said alright!"

"still not an okay"

"sigh kkung, okay okay. but what are you doing there?"

changkyun shrugs and enters the hotel first, walking straight ahead the front desk and collects minhyuk's luggage. "kkung, that's my luggage"

"i'm aware"

"where are you taking them, then?"

"our room"

minhyuk shakes his head and follows changkyun. he's three years younger than him but he acts so mature, he takes care of everyone like a grown up adult. unlike minhyuk, who still acts all immature and playful.

the elevator dings and they hops out the elevator,enters changkyun's room and situates themselves on the sofa near the bed

iii. changkyun sighs for the fifth time as minhyuk downs another can of beer. minhyuk isn't a heavy drinker, his alcohol tolerance is low and he cant manage his drunk self. changkyun knows that, they're room mates after all.

minhyuk's face is red already, there's dried tears and snot all over it but he pays no mind. he keeps on drinking the beers he had bought and keeps on talking to himself. something in between stupid, dumb and hopeless.

changkyun knows everything. he knows how much minhyuk loves their lanky member, who's been acting asshole on minhyuk and he can't understand why. they've been friends for the longest time, they've known each other since before and he can't understand why hyungwon's been a pain in the ass acting all jerky suddenly.

"you know, kkung i've been thinking this past few days...how about"

"how about what"

"how about i left the group? i think the group will still be stable even without me. i'm not even an important member, all i have is my face. the group's perfect even without me, there's shownu, hoseok and kihyun's quality vocals, hyungwon and shownu's powerful bodies and you and heony's amazing rap skills. i don't really have anything to offer aside from my face. i've been thinking about this for a while, i can start a new life in gwangju or in japan or anywhere far from you guys.i will--"

"shut up"

"what--what did you say?"

"i said shut up! you're not leaving! no one's leaving! we're a family and no one will leave! you have talents! you have everything a person can ask for! you have traits i wish i had! stop degrading your self just because hyungwon told you things!"

minhyuk is shocked. this is the first time changkyun shouted, at him, called hyungwon without honorifics, spurted his opinion. minhyuk sighs before wiping his face, lying on the ground and covering his face using his arm.

"hyung"  
"hmm"

there's hiccups and tears and snots, but they pays no mind. the silence is comforting, the silence minhyuk didn't know he needed.

"not everything depends on what people say about you hyung. you are you, you don't need someone's approval to be you. you don't need someone's validation just to be relevant, you deserve everything you have now. alot of people believes and loves you hyung, and i'm one of them, so stop looking for the validation you never needed"

once again, there's hiccups, tears, snots and cans of beer but there's also minhyuk, who finally falls asleep holding onto the words he'd been wanting to hear since forever.

  
iv. "you're aware that you're an asshole,right?"

"very much, yes"

"baaaabe! I'm back, i bought you chicken!"

"hoseok i told you not to shout"

"sorry ki--oh, what is hyungwon doing here? i thought only us will room here?"

kihyun sighs before shrugging. hyungwon fucked up, and he knows it

**Author's Note:**

> i failed miserably, yey ✊😃


End file.
